Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
