awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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