Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
