you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
