too bad you live with your parents still
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
