I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
