I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
