is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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