Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well I just put wine in my tea
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
