Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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