Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can text with my tongue
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize