Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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