my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize