She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
