Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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