I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
