I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
