watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
