he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
and i looked up. we had an audience...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize