I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize