She's JV to your varsity
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
