I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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