My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
