woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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