where am i from again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
