am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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