Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
