operation have a gay friend backfired
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How does one acquire holy water?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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