PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
