I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
