ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
