he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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