We won't sleep together?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
