Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
