so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
