i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
