Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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