So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fuck appropriateness.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You ruined the universe
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
