Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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