I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
