ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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