i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
