i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
