I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
