Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
