Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
