Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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