I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
