If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
