i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
