Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
