I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
