Non-Jews are for practice
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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