I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
