Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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