Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
