P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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