Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
