he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize