spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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