whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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