i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Still dying that you shit outside
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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