like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
